Life is chugging along slowly and that is good. I really don't have the mental energy to write anything astounding in this blog. It seems that ennui has caught up with me. The world-weariness could be because of recent happenings in my personal world or could be that I have taken personally certain world happenings – global warming… commonwealth games pre-inauguration fiasco… Karnataka President’s rule…
Somewhere I read that a lazy gene is essential for human survival. Examples are many. Instead of going outside, where you could get hit by a car, laziness allows you to stay inside and do nothing… bearing no risk of death, except from maybe spontaneous combustion.
I believe that the ability to lazy around is a gift… bestowed by the Cosmos upon only a few privileged and worthy souls… the likes of which dot our planet with enormous lethargy, easiness and ‘light lelo’ attitude. In fact these qualities have altered the fabric of consciousness of the majority like me who keep buzzing around in life… for nothing, I should say.
But some believe laziness can be cultivated, with careful attention to form and function, and studious hard work. They say that it takes perseverance, sustained effort and a certain diligence to execute it properly (what a contradiction… laziness requires efforts!). I do not know which is true; whether it is naturally imbibed or cultivated… it could well be both… but it brings in a wholesale hierarchy of blissful benefits… incompetency, insignificance, and worthlessness.
Laziness creates a vacuum in a daily timetable. As any physicist or engineer knows, a vacuum is an area of zero pressure, which sucks things towards it. In order to maintain this time vacuum, you need to be exceptional at building a spacesuit of laziness. In order to do so, you need to be able to perform a talent perfected only by a select few geniuses like my son Prashanth- talking out of ones rear end. For example: “I am going to start studying tomorrow. However, today I am going to start planning to study tomorrow, which in itself means studying.” And you don’t have to change a wee bit from this stance tomorrow… you can say the same thing.
The most important thing about being lazy is not to convince others about doing nothing: it is to convince self. You will have to construct a veritable matrix of lies and mistruths, culminating in the denial of the fruitfulness of the activity or rather confirming the usefulness of non-activity. This is essential to maintain morale, optimism and any semblance of self-worth.
I would like to enlighten you on the advantages of being lazy. In fact only the lazy folks have been instrumental in certain discoveries which save this world tremendous time. Come on… do you think that CTRL+C and CTRL+V were invented by the programmer of the software? Don’t you agree that the revolution in today’s telephony communication evolved because of our sluggishness… a mobile phone with camera, GPRS, mp3 player, internet, calculator, voice recorder etc… only because someone was smart to say ‘I am lazy to access different gadgets. Let me have everything in one.’ Remote controls are there because of people like me… lethargic @55 reluctant to split from my sofa. Bluetooth because "Why do we have to always point the sensors?" It is the embodiment of laziness with infrareds… Internet banking because we're too lazy to queue… I-pods because "the walkman is too heavy"… Optical mouse because we're lazy to clean the balls :-)
The other advantage is lazy people bring balance to the social hierarchy. What is right if there is no left? Who is working hard if there are no lazy people? ‘Lazy people’ is a relative reference to judge ‘industrious people’.
Ok… fine. Someone said, ‘Who said nothing is impossible? I have been doing it for many years’. Let me start doing NOTHING. Can I have some non-lazy, quick comments on this? :-)
