Lies and Life!

Last night I was told by my wife that I lie a lot. I was mulling this over for some time and concluded that it’s true that I lie (but won’t accept the ‘lot’ factor!) but let me hasten to say that in the bargain I have hurt none. I gloss over bits that might cause me pain to examine or that hurt someone else unnecessarily.

I always thought that my lies go undetected! But it seems that my wife is a state-of-the-art Polygraph "lie detector". Some people, like my wife, are better "lie detectors" than others, better able to distinguish a lie by facial expression, cadence of speech, certain movements, and other methods.

A key consideration to me in lying is that, if your dearly beloved has just spent an absolute fortune on an outfit that makes her feel absolutely fantastic, a little white lie like “Hey you look great” in response to “Does it suit me?” is not only acceptable, but it’s probably a relationship saver… Though I know that she'll scare someone in public in that dress I feel that it is part of tiny, benign lies that keep the peace or salvage a partner's feelings.


As some one said, stretching the truth (it sounds even better than white lie!) is a natural component of human instinct and the world is probably a better place because of our white lies. Given our rigid optimism to lead a smooth ideal life, white lies simply cushion us in this highly friction bound world.

But one needs to draw the line. Tiger Woods’ sexcapades and the lies that followed get into the EXTRACURRICULAR arena. Recently John Edwards' string of lies in sex scandal makes even Tiger Woods look like an amateur. A publication from New York has asked its readers to vote the best liar (or should it be worst liar since they have been caught!) in the Scandal Club that includes Bill Clinton as well.

Bonnie Eaker Weil, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, says "Lying gives a real high for these people." But I believe that the ends justify the means a lot… and my vote is for white lies... no let me call them RELATIONSHIP SAVERS!!

Here’s my favourite set of Relationship Savers:

He said that. – It’s not worth taking credit for.

I will be there in 5 minutes. – Anyway the other person has nothing much to do!

Oh! It’s a thoughtful gift. – Because telling someone that the wall clock gift sucks because I already have 10 of them would make me look arrogant.

Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Already explained... relationship retainer!

She means nothing to me. - Ditto

Of course I love you. - Ditto

I already sent you that info. – How can I tell you that I forgot?

My wife probably can add a lot more to this list since she is a 'lie detector'!

To wrap it up here is a joke on how a woman tries detecting her husband's lie!

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, after having been to her house he realised that it was pretty late for him to return home. As the man got ready to leave, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house."Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having a good time in the evening. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".