BALD IS BEAUTIFUL

There was a time, not that awfully long ago, that a shaved or bald head usually meant the following three possibilities: (1) You have really lost all the hair (2) You are a monk (3) You are back from Tirupathy. If you're a thinking person you might have noticed that these three dissimilar reasons for having a bald head all share something in common - a profound degree of intellectual, emotional or spiritual involvement.

Whatever the reason there are tremendous advantages in sporting this look. Be it a man or a woman! (Whaaaaat? A woman… I can hear a few screams… But allow me to explain)

Imagine the following scene:

Every morning you trudge into the shower and turn on the water to just the right temperature. You numbly start the daily ritual. Wet the hair… shampoo… rinse. Repeat. Hey! Watch out; don’t get the suds in your eyes. Dry hair… comb or brush out the tangles. Ow! Oooh! Eeek! Ouch! Grab the hair dryer and style every last hair into just the perfect location (If it is men, it is no less tedious… applying the wet gel and getting that unkempt look perfect is a drudgery). Finally, after dressing and a quick breakfast of Champions you step out the door to head for work. Just then you’re hit by a sudden gust of wind, and &%$! Your carefully coiffed hair disintegrates into total chaos and resembles tumbleweed.

Now you will agree that it is in fact better for a woman to sport this bald look. Why not? If Persis Kambhatta can successfully make a fashion statement of this look almost 3 decades back through Star Trek, why not you the 21st Century Woman?

Telly Savalas or Pritish Nandy may have had something to do with this as a style statement. I'm inclined to go with the latter… at least as far as the Indian society. Nandy, the poet-turned-journalist-turned-talk show host-turned-film maker-turned-politician-turned-painter-turned-poet-again, if not an inspiration for others for fostering such a popular trend in personal grooming...or uber-grooming, he has been for ME – because many people say that I look like him with my shaven head and the frenchee (or frenchy?).

Up until five years ago, I went through the same painful daily ordeal myself. Then, following my wife’s provocative suggestion that the hair has become sparse (like my blog name – here’n’there) and it is in patches, I crossed to the other side and became a free man. Freeeee of hair. I shaved my head. And I liked the result. So did she. So did my wallet. I am now looking good. Sleek, refined, sophisticated.

Another reason for me to sport this look is that it is hot. Women love to run their fingers over my smooth and shiny pate. And talk about practical, there’s Zero Upkeep required. My hairdo looks great no matter how windy it gets, and I never get hair in my eyes, either. I haven’t had a single hair out of place in the last five years.

For now it is only important that the omnipresence of shaved heads is acknowledged and sold to you all as a concept… if not I will elaborate that Zero Upkeep I mentioned a para earlier!

To maintain these stupid hair in place, what all you have to do... you trudge to the nearby drug store to shell out huge sums for expensive French shampoos, über-costly German conditioners, and Swiss non-ozone-depleting detanglers. Every month or so, you make even more expensive treks to the friendly neighborhood barber shop or beauty salon for a tune-up trim, a bolder cut, or a spiffy new style. Then many of you dig even deeper into your already depleted wallets for a perm, low-fat highlights, or ammonia-free coloring. At the eyeball-popping prices they charge, the hairdressers must be coming to the parlor in an Audi if you observe closely. And you repeat this madness several times a year. All to keep your hair clean, stylish, and manageable. Oh, humanity! Don’t you agree that it is fiscal insanity!

With the nation’s horrific current economic recession and tight family budgets, think of all the money you will be saving by shaving the head. Just a trivial amount more shaving cream and a little extra wear on the Gillette Mach 3 razor blade (can women also use them?). Maybe in a few yearsyou can buy an Audi instead (why give it to the parlor fellow), or at least a GM with your extra loot. Think about it. Join me in the ‘Bald is Beautiful’ campaign.