My wife hates it when I use examples of our life in my writing. This makes writing a bit difficult since the majority of my life is spent in her company and things that I want to write about happen in her presence. Occasionally I’ll write about it anyway and think, “to hell with her grumbling!” But these days I carefully edit out any reference to her existence. But it’s awkward at best.
Not this time though. I’m not going to back down from writing what is on my mind at the moment. Perhaps my defiance is simply the residue of yesterday’s anger…but I think not. It’s probably just an apology…but in a more comfortable format J
My day had been relatively uneventful and therefore, I was in a pretty darn good mood when I started writing a blog. I cleaned up a bit in the kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee, some porridge of oats and then turned on the computer. In other words…my typical routine. As I was pouring myself a fresh cup of coffee a bit later on, rolling ideas around in my head for what I was writing, my beloved mate arrived home. A bit distracted with my own thoughts, I greeted her and began walking back to the computer.
My wife had assumed because I was standing in the kitchen at the time of her entrance, that I was available to listen to her speak. She is a multi-tasker… I am not. A part of me did hear the words and then stored them for processing at a later date, because I can give you the gist of it even if I can’t remember the particular names of the persons involved. It had to do with a friend she hadn’t seen for eons and who had suddenly died.
The tale seemed to conclude around the same time I sat back down in front of my computer. At least, my wife concluded that it did since she retreated into a sullen but oddly palpable silence. Ironically, this silence did to me what her previous words did not. It got my attention. To give the devil its due, I should say that she attentively grabs every word of utterance however drab it may be. I do not boast of that talent. There are really only two occasions when conversation was frowned upon by my wife. One was when the television was on and the other when she was reading a book. Other than that…you were fair game.
Even on the phone…she could talk to virtually anyone. In fact she did once. I remember one afternoon she hung up the phone laughing and told me she’d just had 10 minute conversation with a woman she didn’t know. They were enjoying the conversation so much that it had taken them both that long to realize she had dialed the wrong number.
According to her, it was rude of me to walk away in the middle of a conversation yesterday. At the time, I was far too angry to see things from her point of view…but I can see how if you assume we were having a conversation, my behavior could absolutely be considered rude. However, I don’t believe we were having a conversation…which started me thinking…
While I can’t claim to be an expert on conversation, relying on others to philosophize on its roots and its effect on society as a whole, I’ve participated in quite a few. To be fair, our conversation always used to be a debate than… mmm… a conversation! My wife is very skillful at maneuvering me into unwittingly taking the opposition in any discussion, so it was always a lively affair.
According to some experts, the art of conversation has been dying for a long time. The Victorians blame it on the lack of reading habits by the younger generation. I should agree with that when I consider my son. Any question to him again comes back to you as a question.
“What happened today at the college?”
“What do you expect to happen?”
“Did you have a good time?”
“In colleges do you have a good time?”
“Did you meet Michael and discuss about his New Zealand trip?”
“Was I supposed to?”
“You mean both of you travelled by the same bus and you didn’t check out?”
“What is there to check about?”
“Will you change your uniform and watch TV?”
“Now it’s just 5 in the evening. Can’t I do it after dinner?”
I would blame it on radios and televisions also for obvious reasons. And as if these were not enough to entertain us, we now have the computer, cell phones, Ipods, Blackberries, Wii and Xbox. So many distractions but still only the same twenty four hour period in each day to make use of them.
Something had to suffer. CONVERSATIONS.
What a different world we live in today than even a forty years ago. Some of my most treasured memories are of times spent with my friends in open grounds after the college or in the kitchen with my mother. To me…that is the heart of conversation…an intimacy between two or more people that no amount of texting can accomplish.
So are we in danger of losing the art of conversation? I don’t think so...it’s changing, but it’s still there. Countless chat rooms have been created just so people can connect verbally in a textual format. There are talk radios and talk shows. My ex-colleague Manisha used to spend a lot of time bantering back and forth with her friends on a pink Sony Ericson. Everyone still has something to say judging by the trend to blog or write on innumerable subjects.
What I believe we are in danger of losing is the human element in conversation…the intimacy of it. There’s so little time to communicate face to face…that when we do get the opportunity there’s a tendency to forget that a conversation requires both a speaker and a listener equally exchanging ideas. In the case of my wife, this simply wasn’t true. It was just that I was preoccupied.
What do you say Lakshmi… do we curl up on the couch and talk about it?
Not this time though. I’m not going to back down from writing what is on my mind at the moment. Perhaps my defiance is simply the residue of yesterday’s anger…but I think not. It’s probably just an apology…but in a more comfortable format J
My day had been relatively uneventful and therefore, I was in a pretty darn good mood when I started writing a blog. I cleaned up a bit in the kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee, some porridge of oats and then turned on the computer. In other words…my typical routine. As I was pouring myself a fresh cup of coffee a bit later on, rolling ideas around in my head for what I was writing, my beloved mate arrived home. A bit distracted with my own thoughts, I greeted her and began walking back to the computer.
My wife had assumed because I was standing in the kitchen at the time of her entrance, that I was available to listen to her speak. She is a multi-tasker… I am not. A part of me did hear the words and then stored them for processing at a later date, because I can give you the gist of it even if I can’t remember the particular names of the persons involved. It had to do with a friend she hadn’t seen for eons and who had suddenly died.
The tale seemed to conclude around the same time I sat back down in front of my computer. At least, my wife concluded that it did since she retreated into a sullen but oddly palpable silence. Ironically, this silence did to me what her previous words did not. It got my attention. To give the devil its due, I should say that she attentively grabs every word of utterance however drab it may be. I do not boast of that talent. There are really only two occasions when conversation was frowned upon by my wife. One was when the television was on and the other when she was reading a book. Other than that…you were fair game.
Even on the phone…she could talk to virtually anyone. In fact she did once. I remember one afternoon she hung up the phone laughing and told me she’d just had 10 minute conversation with a woman she didn’t know. They were enjoying the conversation so much that it had taken them both that long to realize she had dialed the wrong number.
According to her, it was rude of me to walk away in the middle of a conversation yesterday. At the time, I was far too angry to see things from her point of view…but I can see how if you assume we were having a conversation, my behavior could absolutely be considered rude. However, I don’t believe we were having a conversation…which started me thinking…
While I can’t claim to be an expert on conversation, relying on others to philosophize on its roots and its effect on society as a whole, I’ve participated in quite a few. To be fair, our conversation always used to be a debate than… mmm… a conversation! My wife is very skillful at maneuvering me into unwittingly taking the opposition in any discussion, so it was always a lively affair.
According to some experts, the art of conversation has been dying for a long time. The Victorians blame it on the lack of reading habits by the younger generation. I should agree with that when I consider my son. Any question to him again comes back to you as a question.
“What happened today at the college?”
“What do you expect to happen?”
“Did you have a good time?”
“In colleges do you have a good time?”
“Did you meet Michael and discuss about his New Zealand trip?”
“Was I supposed to?”
“You mean both of you travelled by the same bus and you didn’t check out?”
“What is there to check about?”
“Will you change your uniform and watch TV?”
“Now it’s just 5 in the evening. Can’t I do it after dinner?”
I would blame it on radios and televisions also for obvious reasons. And as if these were not enough to entertain us, we now have the computer, cell phones, Ipods, Blackberries, Wii and Xbox. So many distractions but still only the same twenty four hour period in each day to make use of them.
Something had to suffer. CONVERSATIONS.
What a different world we live in today than even a forty years ago. Some of my most treasured memories are of times spent with my friends in open grounds after the college or in the kitchen with my mother. To me…that is the heart of conversation…an intimacy between two or more people that no amount of texting can accomplish.
So are we in danger of losing the art of conversation? I don’t think so...it’s changing, but it’s still there. Countless chat rooms have been created just so people can connect verbally in a textual format. There are talk radios and talk shows. My ex-colleague Manisha used to spend a lot of time bantering back and forth with her friends on a pink Sony Ericson. Everyone still has something to say judging by the trend to blog or write on innumerable subjects.
What I believe we are in danger of losing is the human element in conversation…the intimacy of it. There’s so little time to communicate face to face…that when we do get the opportunity there’s a tendency to forget that a conversation requires both a speaker and a listener equally exchanging ideas. In the case of my wife, this simply wasn’t true. It was just that I was preoccupied.
What do you say Lakshmi… do we curl up on the couch and talk about it?
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